Make L$D Fast

By: Dave Rhodes


Dear Friend,
 
My name is Dave Rhodes.  In September 1988 my car was reposessed and 
the bill collectors were hounding me like you wouldn't believe.  I was 
laid off and my unemployment checks had run out.  The only escape I 
had from the pressure of failure was my lab set and chemistry textbook.
I longed to turn my advocation into my vocation.
 
Follow my recipe and your dreams will come true.
 
Sincerely yours,
 
Dave Rhodes
 

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-------------------8-8----------------------

 ___                     _    _                _   
(  _`\                  ( )_ ( )     _       /'_`\ 
| (_(_)   __     __     | ,_)| |__  (_)  ___(_) ) |   ________|\
`\__ \  /'__`\ /'__`\   | |  |  _ `\| |/',__)  /'/'  (________  > .
( )_) |(  ___/(  ___/   | |_ | | | || |\__, \ |_|             |/
`\____)`\____)`\____)   `\__)(_) (_)(_)(____/ (_)  

It's a SINGLE DOSE of LSD -- 50 MICROgrams.  On the STREET, it sells 
for about TEN DOLLARS.  It's small enough to fit on the head of a pin.
                      _   _   _     _    ___  
                     | | | | | |   (_)  |__ \                      ____
       __ _ _ __   __| | | |_| |__  _ ___  ) |       ________|\   /__/ |
      / _` | '_ \ / _` | | __| '_ \| / __|/ /       (________  > |   | |
 _ _ | (_| | | | | (_| | | |_| | | | \__ \_|                 |/  |___|/
(_|_|_)__,_|_| |_|\__,_|  \__|_| |_|_|___(_)  
                                              
It's a SMALL cube of PURE LSD -- 30 GRAMS.  On the STREET, it sells
for a AMAZING SIX HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS.  It fits in your pocket and,
more importantly, YOU CAN MAKE IT IN YOUR OWN HOME FOLLOWING MY SIMPLE
INSTRUCTIONS.

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LSD can be derived from the ergot virus which is commonly found on 
hops and wheat.  While it's possible to scrape the virus off the stalks
of these plants, there's a much easier way to get ergot...
 _____         _            _      ____                 
|  ___|__  ___| |_ ___ _ __( )__  | __ )  ___  ___ _ __ 
| |_ / _ \/ __| __/ _ \ '__|/ __| |  _ \ / _ \/ _ \ '__|
|  _| (_) \__ \ ||  __/ |   \__ \ | |_) |  __/  __/ |   
|_|  \___/|___/\__\___|_|   |___/ |____/ \___|\___|_|   
 
Foster's Beer is one of the few beers made with ergot-containing grains,
and it is definitely the most available.  First, you'll need some big, blue
cans of Foster's Beer, which you can purchase at most local supermarkets.

For the benefit of some absolute idiots out there: This is a JOKE!

1. Buy 12 cans of Foster's Beer.  In a pan, heat the beer to a slow boil, in 
   order to remove the water and isolate the ergot-containing compounds.  
   Boiling off the water should take approximately 36 hours -- don't rush 
   the process, or you risk damaging the ergot-containing compounds.  As
   the beer evaporates, simply add more beer.  In this way, eventually, you'll
   have the essential compounds from all 12 beers in the bottom of the pan.
2. It's now necessary to pH neutralize the slightly acidic ergotamine
   solution, using a weak base.  No-fat household milk is ideal for the job.
   Mix in 1/4 cup of no-fat milk (be *sure* not to use milk with any milkfat)
   and wait 30 minutes for the solution to reach equilibrium.  At this point,
   you have a weak solution of ergotamine with which you can continue the
   process.  It should be a creamy brown color and a bit gooey.  Be careful,
   because ergotamine is 
 ____  _____  ___  ____  _  __   __  ____   ___ ___ ____   ___  _   _ 
|  _ \| ____|/ _ \|  _ \| | \ \ / / |  _ \ / _ \_ _/ ___| / _ \| \ | |
| | | |  _| | |_| | | | | |  \ V /  | |_) | | | | |\___ \| | | |  \| |
| |_| | |___|  _  | |_| | |___| |   |  __/| |_| | | ___) | |_| | |\  |
|____/|_____|_| |_|____/|_____|_|   |_|    \___/___|____/ \___/|_| \_|
  
3. Next, it's necessary to combine lysine with the ergotamine solution.  
   Lysine is available in most health food stores.  You'll need about 2
   grams of lysine (that's 20 100mg pills).  Cool the ergotamine solution
   to near freezing in your freezer (to avoid desosphyxiation with CO2
   in the air).  Now, simply grind the pills into a powder and mix into 
   your ergotamine solution.  You now have lysergic acid.  

4. You *want* LSD, lysergic acid diethylamide, however, and so you need
   to ethylate your compound and then ammonate it.  Sound hard? 
    ___ _     _          _ _   _ 
   |_ _| |_  (_)___ _ __( ) |_| |
    | || __| | / __| '_ \/| __| |
    | || |_  | \__ \ | | || |_|_|
   |___|\__| |_|___/_| |_| \__(_)
   
   Simply add ethyl alcohol to the lysergic acid mixture.  Pure grain 
   alcohol is ideal, but Bacardi 151 or some other high-proof alcohol will
   work fine.  Add 1 cup of pure alcohol, 1 1/3 cup of 151 proof, or 
   2 cups of 100 proof.  Now, to remove the hydroxyls, add 6 cups of 4%
   hydrogen peroxide (available at your local pharmacy) or 24 cups of
   1% (stronger is better)

   Be careful, because now your compound is
    _   _ _       _     _        __     __    _       _   _ _      
   | | | (_) __ _| |__ | |_   _  \ \   / /__ | | __ _| |_(_) | ___ 
   | |_| | |/ _` | '_ \| | | | |  \ \ / / _ \| |/ _` | __| | |/ _ \
   |  _  | | (_| | | | | | |_| |   \ V / (_) | | (_| | |_| | |  __/
   |_| |_|_|\__, |_| |_|_|\__, |    \_/ \___/|_|\__,_|\__|_|_|\___|
            |___/         |___/                                    
   [Keep it away from open flames]

5. Now, for the final step in preparation, add 4 ounces of pure ammonia to 
   the solution and let sit at room temperature for 3 days.  This waiting
   period allows for the slow reaction to take place -- at higher 
   temperatures this reaction occurs much more quickly, but you risk 
   decomposition of the LSD.  At the end of the three days, you've done it!
    _     ____  ____  
   | |   / ___||  _ \ 
   | |   \___ \| | | |
   | |___ ___) | |_| |
   |_____|____/|____/ 
    
   The expected yield of LSD is 100 grams, over 1,000,000 doses!  Be VERY,
   VERY careful at this point, because the solution you're dealing with is
   *extremely* *concentrated*.  If any gets on your hands, you could be
   tripping for years!  Now, put about 20 gallons of water in a barrel,and 
   stir in the LSD using a large oar.  At this level of dilution, a 1/4
   cup contains about 100 hits.  You can dispense the hits using an eye
   dropper (3 or 4 drops per hit).