Dear Friend: If you're insane, please take a moment and read this... Follow these directions EXACTLY, and in 20 to 60 days you will receive over $50,000.00 cash - all yours! This program has remained successful because of the HONESTY and INTEGRIT/~~~~~~~~~~~~\cipants. Please keep its success by carefully ad/~~~~~~~ \ns. /~~~~\is NOT an illegal pyra/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ O-BOY! YESSIREE!! ~~~~ /product is not sold or/ \a Mailing List that_/ You've gotten this in your mail, received it \ig bucks for qual/ by email, and seen it posted all over the Net! /l income which is\ /including in that l\ @: THE PONZI PYRAMID OF POWER!! :@ /s exactly: [1] Immed/ \mail $1.00 to the fi\ The Inter-Con never quits! And five'll get \number 5, and send a\ you ten that most of these are being posted /your total investment/ by the SAME DUDE and all the first names you \ng "Please add my nam\ send your money to are really his drop-boxes /legitimate service th/ or "production associates"! After 6 years /s service). [2] Remov/ of chain-scamming, this BBS Bunko's gotta \ Move the other 9 n\ have more bucks than Scrooge McDuck!! \, and then number 3 w\ \your name and address\ He's probably the same shark who advertises, /er 10. [3] Post th/ "Earn tax-free income through Mail Order! /ition into ten(10) sep\ Send $20 for my Surprise Success Formula!" /o the file section, ca/ \ONEY.FAST. [4] Within/ Well, WE can play THAT game OURSELVES!! \0 in CASH! Keep a cop\ Yes, if you're a loyal lurker of this Group /again when you need m/ and all of its sundry crosspostings, this is \n you are automatic/ YOUR OPPORTUNITY to GET RICH NOW, and laugh /ending you $1.00 to \ in your sleeve all the way to the BANK!! /can then be rented the\ /ellow Pages for addit / Simple? You bet! Legal? Who cares! It \ become more valuable a\ slipped past the SysOp, and now it's YOURS!! \perfectly legal. If \______________________________________________/ refer to Title 18, Section 1302 & 1341 of the postal lottery laws, should the IRS or any other government agency question you. (EtcEtcBlahblah&Blah) ------------------------------------------------------------------>8 cut Dear Fellow NewsGroup Reader... Are you sitting down? *> Well I hope you ARE, because THIS WILL KNOCK YOU OFF YOUR FEET! <* YES!! The *REAL* SECRET to GETTING RICH NOW and MAKING BIG MONEY FAST is just another tippy-tap away on your computer keyboard's space bar! But...Do You Dare? ...What if "They" find out? Well, you really don't know me, so all I can do is ask for your Trust and Confidence, to just: ==( TAP THE SPACE BAR )== xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx !IR$!FBI!CIA!JFK!CEO!NRA!TNT!UFO!ILLUMINATI!GOD!ZOG!KIBO!ATOMIC!GOLD!$! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ _ __/| -_- :::::====== MMMMMIMXMMMMRK$BS$$$mmMMMMX!!<<<:! :~t%..!!$$! ___\______ MMMMMM:MM:' * ~"M! .: -~~ :~: '!!$!! / ^ \_]======] MMMMMM!`:<:-.:X _////////> ///\///\///\/ GET RICH NOW! \/\\\/\\\/\\\ -\\\\\\\\_ < |/ '~~ ~~ ~~ < > ~~ ~~ ~~` \| ' :: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :: ` !::: _____ k Guaranteed 100% every time! ___ :::! !::: \_@_/ // Safe when used as directed! __[___]__ :::! !::: {~._.~}// Never leave home, ever again! {~@=@~} :::! !::: ( ^ )// Lose 30 pounds in just 10 days! ( ^ ) :::! !::: ()~:~%R (That's $46 US, $237 Canadian) ()~*~() :::! !::: (_)-<|) Offer GOOD for life of this posting /(_)-(_)\_ :::! ~ Intrigued? Then follow these instructions EXACTLY: Press the Space Bar -*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*- -+<<<: OH WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! More Instructions!!!!! :>>>+- Do you constantly lose at Lotto? Throw craps every time? Always choose the slowest checkout line? Then YOU are PERFECT for this SPECIAL OFFER! But first -- let me ask you these mandatory routine self-help questions: ........................................................................ Do you want true financial independence and constant tax-free income? Do you want to be in a totally loving, mutually supportive relationship? Do you want to achieve states of pleasure previously unimaginable? Do you want to start sleeping with your SO, instead of your PC? Do you want to look better, feel better, run faster and jump higher? Do you want to cleanse all Karma, and tap into infinite creative power? Do you want to bring universal healing and happiness to all around you? Do you want the Secret of Secrets - the Answer to Your Greatest Dreams? Do you want to find a few of those unmarked bags of cash on the street? Do you want the total effect of 10,000 cups of coffee in one minute? Do you want to equalize things a little with an Evil Business Partner Do you want who embezzled over $100,000, then attempted to get a covert Do you want $1,000,000 insurance policy on your life, stole all of your Do you want property and your company, traded your lifework to a crooked Do you want distributor, then declared bankruptcy and moved to a secret Do you want location where he thought no creditor would ever find him? Do you want me to stop asking all this and get on to the Good Stuff??? ........................................................................ If you answered YES to one or more of the above..WELCOME TO THE INTERNET! If you answered YES to the last half, then WE actually have even more in common! That's right! YOU could have your Own NetGroup!! (or just take MINE) Get flame-mail from EVERY imaginable CORNER OF THIS GLOBE! *YES*, YOU could do on your own computer for FREE, what others do for income!! __///////\ Why work like a slave for years, when /\\\\\\\__ \\\\\\\/ you can get a cheap laugh in seconds! \/////// "Well sure", you say, "That's fine! IN THEORY." But somehow, all that SEEMS to be straying from The Point -> The ASTOUNDING, STARTLING ANSWER that YOU have been WAITING FOR!! -- Which, of course, is just beyond: [==( HIT SPACE BAR NOW )==] $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Are you EXCITED!?! Are you JUMPING Up/and\Down WITH ANTICIPATION!?!? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*> _______________________ :::::::`:::::::.:`.____| |____,' .':;::::::::::: ::::::::::.::.:.`. \ | OH FRABJOUS DAY!! | / ,',.:.::::.::::::: :::.::::.:::. - -- > |_______________________| < -- - ..:.::.::::.: :::::::::::.::.:,' /_______)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(_______\ `.::::.:.:::::.::: ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ CONGRATULATIONS! You're a WINNER! And you certainly WANT this BRIDGE I'm selling! But it's MINE!! Though I'll TELL YOU how to GET YOURS! It's *Brilliant!* *Powerful!* *Success-Proven!* *Beta-Tested!* You may just win a GENUINE DIAMOND only a tenth smaller than this "."! Or a 42" COLOR TV cord! Or a fabulous TWO WEEKS IN NORWAY brochure!! Make thousands of dollars every hour, with a job at the US Treasury! You will earn $600,000 every day, just by being a Disney executive!! Tomorrow - YOU could have LOTS of other C00L and quasi-VALUABLE stuff! But HOW could I know all this -- unless...I'm PSYCHIC!! So LISTEN UP!! ~~~~~~~ I KNOW what you're thinking! "This must be some kind of sneaky, under- handed, Hollywood-hyped, flim-flam, rip-off scheme to separate Me from MY hard-earned SAVINGS!" But you're WRONG! It's NOT sneaky at ALL!!! It really IS the Perfect GET RICH Formula, which only I have discovered, and which I am passing its full SECRET *EXECUTIVE* KNOWLEDGE on to YOU! AHA! Now you're thinking, "WHY would he share his Power-System Secrets with a complete stranger??" That's a REAL GOOD QUESTION! ...Real good. Hmmm... NO, it hurts TOO MUCH to think about it, and that's why They're keeping me in the Soft Cell anyway! ...I think *AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA "Doesn't that mean *I* have to think?" NO! ... It does NOT take a "Math Genius Rocket Scientist" to figure this out! Because it's THOUGHT-FREE! The fact that you're reading this should be proof enough! And if you're at all worried about getting SOMETHING THIS VALUABLE for NOTHING, rest assured -- IT IS WORTH IT!! ALL you need to do, is simply "GET a CLUE"! ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Finally! You can get RICH beyond your wildest hopes! HARD to beL.ieve? That's o-KAYE -- I didn't believe it myself! But look where I am now!! And so are 8850 others, from Zeiler Avenue to Arleta CA, 91331 in all!! In other words: *P*OWER! *E*XCITEMENT! *S*ATISFACTION! *T*HRILLS! *E*CSTACY! *R*OMANCE! *T*HERAPY! *H*APPINESS! *E*NTERTAINMENT! *C*OMPANIONSHIP! *R*ESPECT! *E*LOQUENCE! *E*XCELLENCE! *P*EACE!! I can't say it any plainer!! This really IS the *Secret* to GETTING RICH now!! Get what others have gotten! Help Yourself -- just like CFO's in major movie corporations! "But wait -- if I WIN, doesn't that mean somebody else has to lose?" Absolutely "NO"! Not if that "somebody else" never ever FINDS OUT!! This is a *SECRET FORMULA* - just like it said 5 lines back up there! S-E-C-R-E-T-! Just for US! Keep it that way! Nuff said! Sheesh! @==( PRESS SPACE BAR ONE LAST TIME! )==@ ________________________________________________________________________ [__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__] _][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__]_] [__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__] Wake your neighbors! Phone your foes! You are now the One who Knows! ...Just remember: THIS IS ALL TOP SECRET!!!! (`tis better that way ;) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ %*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%* AT LAST! THIS is THE ANSWER! FORGOT the QUESTION? IT DOESN'T MATTER!! ************************************************************************ BIG MONEY! BIG MONEY! BIG MONEY! BIG MONEY! BIG MONEY!! BIG MONEY!! 101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Get a bigger monitor screen! Then hold a magnifier up to it!! Or get a video projector, and throw this on the wall! Then wait'll it gets dark and project it on the building across the street! Or up on the clouds! Yow!! Or get a real $100 bill, and scan it in sideways!! And no matter how big you make it, it'll have the same full monetary backing by the USA government that the actual Reserve Note has!!! But wait - there's more! Hit "Copy Block", then "Insert Block x100"...and MAKE MORE MONEY, as fast as You Can! And with no more effort or skill than a corporate executive! ......................................................................... ______________________________________________________________________ | | | ==================================================================== | | |%/^\\%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&{ Federal Reverse Note }%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&//^\%| | | |/inn\)===============------------------------===============(/inn\| | | |\|UU/ { UNITED STARES OF AMERICA } \|UU/| | | |&\-/ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~=====~~~~~~~~~~~ P8188928246 \-/&| | | |%//) ~~~_~~~~~ // ___ \\ (\\%| | | |&(/ 13 /_\ // /_ _\ \\ ~~~~~~~~ 13 \)&| | | |%\\ // \\ :| |/ ~ \| |: 3.21 /| /\ /\ //%| | | |&\\\ ((iR$)> }:P ebp || |"- -"| || || |||| |||| ///&| | | |%\\)) \\_// sge || (|e,e|? || || |||| |||| ((//%| | | |&))/ \_/ :| `._^_,' |: || |||| |||| \((&| | | |%//) \\ \\=// // || |||| |||| (\\%| | | |&// R265402524K \\U/_/ // series || \/ \/ \\&| | | |%/> 13 _\\___//_ 1932 13 <\%| | | |&/^\ Treasurer ______{ Frankly }_______ Secretary /^\&| | | |/inn\ ))--------------------(( /inn\| | | |)|UU(================/ ONE HUNGERED DOLLARS \================)|UU(| | | |{===}%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&{===}| | | ==================================================================== | |______________________________________________________________________| Turn up the Green! Feel the screen! Ionic Energy at Your Fingertips! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Best of all, BEST OF ALL, you can use this *GRN* Formula on ANYTHING!! Poker, Roulette, Horses, Dogs, Snakes, Toads, Hollywood }:Producers -- Yes, ANY picture you can put on this screen can be blown up, real big! Even that Bridge I mentioned back there! I'm talking Guided Imagery!! . , .., :::;' /) - * - BIG DREAM Payoffs!! Again and AGAIN!! - + - (\ `:::: ::' / ) ':` ':` ( \_ ` :' _( (_ _ First, make sure nobody is watching, who _ ) )\ /> : (((\ \) /,) might contest Your Sanity. Then TOUCH / ) / //))/ : (\\\\ \_/ / the Magic "Bob" Face in the center of \ \_/ ///// . :. \ / the ascii $100 on Your screen and SHOUT: \ / .: ::. \ _/ . . \_ / .:: ::::/ / .:.* "TREMENDOUS TREASURES BEYOND COMPARE *:::. \` \.::: :::/ /.::::::.* WILL ALL BE MINE THIS HAPPY YEAR!" *.:::::::.\ \::: ::/@\ /::::::::::.....................................:::::::::::\ \:: [Hey - couldn't hurt. And if YOU receive OVER $10,000,000.00 in CASH in the next 60 days - remember to send me just 1% and I won't tell a Soul!] ___________________________________________ __ ._`.*.'_._ ____ ____ Mike Jittlov - Wizard, etc . . + * .o o.* `.`. +. . Church of the Creative Spirit ' * . ' ' |\^/| `. * . * ` jittlov@gumby.cs.caltech.edu (: May All Your \V/ Good Dreams . + <& alt.fan.mike-jittlov> and Fine Wishes /_\ Come True:) .`. ================================================ _/ \_ ============::::.* Yes! ^It's an actual Newsgroup (with 68,000 subscribers worldwide) & haven to hyper-creative mega-crossposting! Tune in and lurk on! 8-D "Friends don't let Friends access InterNet"