Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1999 21:28:40 -0500
Subject: True story! Read now!


I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering
from  having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried
Chicken.

So  anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he
was in his bathtub  and it was full of ice and he was sore all over.
When he got out of the tub  he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN
STOLEN and and he saw a note on his  mirror that said "Call 911!"
But he was afraid to use his phone because it  was connected to his
computer, and there was a virus on his computer that  would destroy
his hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!"

He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer
programmer who  was working on software to save us from armageddon
when the year 2000 rolls  around. His program will prevent a global
disaster in which all the  computers get together and distribute the
$600 Neiman Marcus cookie recipe  under the leadership of Bill
Gates. (It's true - I read it all last week in  a mass e-mail from
BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free  Disney World
vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone  I
know.)

The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his
missing  kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got
jabbed with an  HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note
that said, "Welcome to  the world of AIDS."

Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital - the one,
actually,  where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one
whose last wish is  for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail
and the American Cancer  Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for
every e-mail he eceives. I sent  him two e-mails and one of them was
a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of  an angel (if you get it and
forward it to twenty people you will have good  luck but ten people
you will only have okay luck and if you send it to less  than ten
people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).

So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but
on the  way he noticed another car driving along without his lights
on. To be  helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly
shot as part of a  gang initiation.

And it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark
Ages.


This file last edited January 6, 1999.