When I first saw the subject line of my mail (above), I unconsciouly reached for the mouse to click on the Headers button (typical antispammer response. Then I saw it was from Heckler's Online (whose newsletter I subscribe to), which made me calm down.

Then, I saw the classic pyramid structure and the first thought that ran through my mind was 1) Either Heckler's Online has gone very very bad and started with Pyramid Schemes, or 2) Some damn spammer got a hold of their subscription list and has forged mail to look like it came from them...

THEN, I actually read the content...

I nearly bust a gut laughing...

Read on fellow anti-spammer, and try to relax. We are right, and we know it. We don't hide behind lies and deception. We are fighting for fairness, and for that, we will eventually win. The only way we lose is to defeat ourselves, so keep a clear head, use your intellect, and know that you are right.

Date: Fri, 10 Apr 1998 18:10:32 EDT
From: HO Mail

Brought to you in shame by Hecklers Online
[ and AOL Keyword: HO]

YES--It's TRUE! You can receive ORAL PLEASURE FOR FREE!!!


My name is John Thomas Aiken. I want to tell you about a simple but amazing
multi-level marketing system that has literally changed my life.

Now, we've all heard about these so-called "pyramid schemes" in which people
have proven that they can generate millions of dollars just by sending out a
few envelopes stuffed with dollar bills.

Well, that set me a thinkin'.

It took me quite a few times reading all of those chain letters and message
board posts to fully understand exactly how these things work, but once you
get the hang of it, it is SO easy! AND IT REALLY WORKS!!!

Yes, within only 7 days, I started receiving oral pleasure!

I was shocked! But I figured it would end soon and didn't really give it
another thought. But the oral pleasure just kept coming in. In my first week,
I received oral pleasure once or twice. By the end of the second week I
received oral pleasure over 1000 times! In the third week, I received oral
pleasure over 10,000 times and it still hasn't shown any signs of slowing

Okay. Here's the process:

[IMPORTANT RULE: I'm at the top of the pyramid. That doesn't change. Ever.]

STEP 1: Give oral pleasure to the six people on your list:

#1 John Thomas Aiken
707 Mortland Ave.
Tuscaloosa, AL 35055

#2 Neil Focash
6 Tyler Ave.
Bellingham, WA 56564

#3 Dr. Craven Moorehead
717 South Springs Ave.
New York, NY 07110

#4 Heywood Jablowme
PO Box 115010
Raleigh, NC 27611

#5 Phil McGroin
5005 West Larry St.
Indianapolis, IN 46241

#6 Ivan Beatinov
60 Banor Drive
Shavertown, Pa 18708

STEP 2: Now take the #2 name off the list that you see above, move the other
names up (6 becomes 5, 5 becomes 4, etc...). Then add YOUR name as number 6 on
the list. Again, I want to reiterate that the #1 person NEVER NEVER changes.
This is critical. You'll screw up the whole thing.

STEP 3: Next, send your amended list and article to people who you think will
go for this sort of thing. You MUST send the proposal to at LEAST 200

**REMEMBER** The more you people you recruit, the more oral pleasure you'll

Out of 200 recruitment attempts, let's assume I only receive oral pleasure 5
times (a very low estimate). So then I received oral pleasure five times with
my name in the #6 slot on the letter.

Now, each of the 5 persons who just gave me oral pleasure also make the
MINIMUM 200 propositions, this time each with my name in the #5 position (then
let's again assume that only 5 people agree to give oral pleasure to each of
the original 5).

Well, that's oral pleasure another 25 times for me. Now THOSE 25 each make 200
MINIMUM attempts with my name at #4 (again, only 5 agree). I get oral pleasure
an additional 125 times! NOW, those 125 persons turn around and contact the
MINIMUM 200 with my name at #3 (only receiving 5 replies each)....I get oral
pleasure an additional 625 times!!

Okay, now here is the fun part: Each of THOSE 625 persons send a MINIMUM 200
letters with my name at #2 (suppose, again, they each only receive 5 positive
replies)--that just landed me oral pleasure 3,125 more times! Those 3,125
persons then all deliver this message to 200 people with my name in the #1
slot and STILL if only 5 persons per 200 agree, I will receive oral pleasure
15,625 times!

All of this with only having to give oral pleasure 6 times! AMAZING!

And as I said, 5 responses is actually VERY LOW! Average is probably 20 to 30!

Remember, play FAIRLY and HONESTLY and this will work. You just have to be
honest. And you have to go first.

So don't waste any more time. C'mon over to my place TODAY! Time's a

Brought to you in shame by Hecklers Online
[ and AOL Keyword: HO]

Please note: the above is humor -- part of a chain letter collection.